- John Gray –
It’s a first date. A man calls a woman he met before. He asks her out for dinner and she says “Yes”. Now, question for you guys: What do you do consistently on first dates that totally destroy your chances of seeing the woman again?
Ok, hold on a minute... Before you answer, I received an email two days ago from Michael Webb with interesting articles I will share on FD. A particular one titled "First Date Mistakes Men Make That End In Heartbreak" kept my interest. From his own experience, he is what he answered:
From Michael Webb...
If you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date. And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they're doing it right! As a man, the following are what guys don’t have to do (and I explain quickly why), I insist, the first day...
Don’t buy gifts
Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn't the best idea - especially if you've just met the woman! She's there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves "what does THAT mean?" And in this case it's, "He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn't even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.
Being Mr. Serious? No, don’t do this.
When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they won’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously. Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a "Mr. Serious."
Do not conduct an interview
When men become "Mr. Serious" they often fall into "job interview conversation mode." Make sure you reserve questions like, "So where do you work?" or "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" for the future, after you've already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff. Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you've known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.
Don’t be too needy and direct
Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, "so do you like me?" or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake. Ironically, it's leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman's attention and keeps her interested.
Dudes, dinner and movie dates just aren't the best place to take your date
If your date finds the night boring, you're finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it's really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very "proper tone" that's hard to turn into fun and playful. And unless you're a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and movie dates just aren't the best place to take your date. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.
So in essence, while there are many factors to having a successful date, a great date idea really helps you do many of them naturally! Remember, where you take a woman on a first date can be the difference between a great night and a dating disaster! Choose wisely!
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I recognize particularly the number 3 about conduct an interview. Effectively, men love to ask that women tell more about themselves and we can’t stop talking. Even if you play the game I mentioned in why men don’t call you back.
I add to Michael’s points a last "don’t do".
Guys, you ask a woman out for dinner for a date, right? Then, you’re asking the woman where she'd like to be taken out and in general the answer is "it doesn’t matter, wherever is great", huh?
What are you doing next? You insist on the issue by saying "No, really where do you want to eat or where do you want to go?" OK. If she really doesn’t know, please don’t push it. Make a choice. As David DeAngelo said, "Decisiveness is a predominantly male trait. And to a woman, there is nothing more manly than a guy who knows what he wants, and is confident enough to be a man and lead her to do things and go places he knows are fun and exciting. When a man does this, it gives her a sense of stability and security that she longs for, and puts her at ease by taking the burden of making a decision off her plate. Unfortunately, many men are afraid to do this because they fear that a woman won't be happy with the decisions they make."
But what it’s admirable with men is that when they look back, they realized that each failure they’ve made was necessary to achieve their future success. Every mistake was a necessary slap in the face to move things up and then... They realized they had always been good. It sure is a long process sometimes of proving their successful side, and for women to be patient. But later on their fear of failure goes away, they could better feel how much they care and want to give more.
So here's my question again: What do you do consistently on first dates that totally destroy your chances of seeing the woman again?
Guys, Ladies, did you experience on a first date one of those Michael's points?
(You can comment in French too)
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To know more, enter your email address in the red form at bottom of the page and shortly after, I will send you the 101 Romantic Ideas from Michael Webb for Free.
(Your information will be kept private and not shared)
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